THE HAPPINESS CODE - PART I

Last week, I was reminded of an interesting concept I had read in a book some years ago. It was expressed through a monologue by a wise Guru to his protégé and got imprinted onto my mind as a life truth. It went something like this – 

Looking straight at the little boy in front of him, the master said,

“Remember, son. Every human being is unique. With a unique happiness Code that is the key to his very existence. What exactly is this happiness Code? Well, it is a complex cypher... of blissfulness. Can it be decoded? Yes, but only by the person himself. Should one try and decode it? Sure, if one wants to be happy as often as possible! The Code maps the person’s intrinsic level of maximum joy with respect to each facet of his life. It is at this level, that the person will be happiest when that facet manifests itself. For example, if you enjoy your coffee most, when it's at 95 C (i.e. your happiness Code for a satisfying mug of steaming hot coffee is mapped at 95 C), you will feel less than satisfied having it at 90 C or at 100 C. Of course, you don't know the temperature of your coffee. But you know if you liked it or not! Got it?

Well, it is pretty much the same in other parts of our lives too. Take for example, the car that you might own. If your Code is mapped to be happiest driving a basic 1000 cc sedan, owning a Jaguar won’t make you happier. It might, temporarily or occasionally. You could show it off, or make others envy your success or simply turn heads as you drive by. But deep inside, it won’t really fill you with joy. What does that actually mean? It means, that all the above be as they may, owning a Jaguar might fill you with fears of attracting unwanted attention to your wealth (assuming your Code is mapped to maintaining subtlety around your wealth) or you may be anxious of possible accidents on account of the way the car zooms on crowded city roads (assuming again, your Code is not inclined to the thrills of a fast life). On the other hand, what if all you could afford was a two-seater scooter? That could make you unhappy too. True, you won’t exactly attract attention when you pass by and neither invoke envy within your social circle. But then, you would be unhappy about being subjected to the vagaries of the weather and being unable to carry your entire family. Bottom line – you are not really at ease with the Jaguar and definitely uncomfortable with the scooter.

Maybe, owning a simple four-seater car is just the right thing for you. But, either you end up with a white elephant or you just can’t afford anything more than a two-wheeler!

Now, and this is the key point here – Do YOU know what is best for you? As opposed to what is popularly professed to be the best!

Our education system and social upbringing engineers us to grade everything on a scale. The strongest nation, weakest team, tallest man, ugliest pet, prettiest girl, shortest player, cutest baby, highest grades, fanciest clothes, biggest car, tastiest food, fattest salaries, highest growth.. fastest.. coolest.. most.. least.. best.. worst.. The list of hyperbole is endless. And over time, we develop an implicit belief that each one of us should aspire for the highest thing on every scale. Work for them and covet them when we attain the prize. Else we are filled with lifelong obsessions or regrets. That – is pretty much the mantra, isn’t it? A mantra that defines our behavior in virtually every aspect of our short lives. From relationships to career, from things of daily need to those exemplifying luxury. From the way we work to the way we holiday. From the way we study to the education we obtain. Needless to say, all of these eventually relate to material goals. Why is it so? Because material targets are tangible, attainable, visible to others and most of all, we sort of know how to get them. At least somebody does. So we always have someone to emulate!

But... What about the goalposts of our emotional well-being? Feelings of happiness, satisfaction, love and fulfillment?  

Are you asking yourself – won’t those come with all the material things? No, my dear. They need to be chased separately. And earnestly. In fact, they are the only things you should really be running after. Because, only then would you know what you would need to chase materially.

Okay, think about the ‘happier’ people you know. Do they have ‘more’ than you? Similarly, are those who have ‘more’ than you definitely ‘happier’? So tell me son, why would you assume, that you should try to have the best of everything, and not what works best for you and makes your life more joyful?”

What made me remember this short excerpt, is a matter of little consequence here. But it did leave me thinking. About many realities of our lives as we know it. I had read this story many years ago and maybe parts of it were just beginning to make sense to me. And connecting back to my life, in more ways than one. More importantly, am I living my life in sync with my Code or out of it?